| back for a short while! |
[22 Mar 2006|11:50pm] |
Oh well, it’s really been a long time since I last blogged. In fact, I haven’t been online as often as I did in the past. Well, certainly, there are reasons why. I did very much want to sit tight on this “lifetrain” and capture my life story on this blog. But hmm… too busy. I do realize that my lifestyle has somehow taken a different route. One of which is my sleeping habit. To large extent, I’d say I’m proud that I’ve been sleeping at the right hours, sleeping and waking early. I don’t stay up later than 1am, and on average I’ll concuss at 12 midnight. I’ve about at least 7 hours of sleep every day and my body cells have time to regenerate. It goes to mean no msn for me till late in the night. In fact, I’m seldom on msn even during the day so that I won’t be distracted from the piles of work waiting for me to clear.
Disclaimer: Tonight is an exception, just to give myself a short break, now that I feel like journaling a bit.
This semester passes the fastest, I feel. Yet I thank God, because it’s one which I feel I have more control over my studies (despite school work still piles up fast, I must admit.). Perhaps it’s so fast also because of the urgency to get myself prepared for the future – job searching, exploring ministry and what I want to do for God, finishing up the last lap well etc. I’m just thankful that God has been beside me all this while as I commit a whole list of concerns to Him. Overwhelming (and maybe sometimes tired) I may feel, but not down and out… at least so far not yet.
Ooh… and whatever happens to the melancholic me? It’s still my nature but it has taken a lesser hold on me I guess… being less “emotional for no apparent reason” kind of feeler. Even when I do, I always experience God after that… amazingly. But that’s if I choose to quickly go back to God for comfort and support instead of dwelling further/deeper/longer.
Alright, back to work now. HRM here I come! (Presentation on this Friday, you see.) Hee… =)
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| Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart |
[29 Dec 2005|02:04am] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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He Gave The Greatest Gift Of All
Jon & Jane Sherberg
The winter’s chill crept o’er the stillness of the evening;
The day had past at last the city slept in peace.
An evening star watched from afar and shone so brightly,
As if to say this day would bring a love that would not cease.
In days of old it was foretold a time was coming
When wondrous things would bring a new and glorious day;
When God the Father would now offer life unending,
To those who came to claim the Gift in childlike faith.
Chorus:
He gave the greatest Gift of all when He gave Jesus
He sent the greatest Gift of love wrapped in His Son.
He brought us hope when we had nothing left to hope for
Redemptions story had begun
He gave the greatest Gift of all when He gave Jesus
He sent the greatest Gift of love wrapped in His Son.
He brought us hope when we had nothing left to hope for
At last the long awaited promise,
The Gift the world was waiting for had come.
The sky was gray, the clouds turned daylight into darkness
As if the earth itself were mourning for a Son.
A mother’s heart was torn apart in grief and anguish;
The day she saw so long ago had finally come.
He stood accused, His body bruised, hands pierced and bleeding;
Who once had known the lowly comfort of a stall.
The babe that angels once proclaimed as King and Saviour
Gave up His life to be the greatest Gift of all.
[repeat chorus]
At last the Gift the world was waiting for had come.
He gave the greatest Gift of all!
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We went caroling on Christmas eve along Orchard this year. (I shall not describe the horrible experience of squeezing through the mass of bodies while shunning the evil sprays.) After caroling, we settled down near Borders and some of us presented to the sub-d this song that we spent many hours practicing. This is the 5th Christmas I’m celebrating as a Christian. As I celebrate Christmas this year, I only want to appreciate deeply in my heart Jesus’ love on the cross for me. If anyone thought the Christmas service was relevant to non-believers only, I could testify that mentality wrong. At first, I was rather disappointed that Yanting could not turn up for any of the Christmas services, my friends whom I invited could not come too. I sighed for I would have no one to share the love of Christ to during the service. But, that didn’t mean I could “sleep” through the service. Well, I could use the service to focus on renewing my relationship with God! It was a time to remember what Christ had done for me, and commit my life to God once again, even in areas of my life that I might have fallen away from Him. The experience with God was great – the musical, the sermon, the worship, including the presentation song we presented really touched my heart. The lyrics of the presentation song brought a refreshing warmth and meant a lot to me. I wish God had touched some hearts through the song too as He did in mine.
Oh, there was a surprise from God. Jitsy’s USP friend Calyn came for service, God touched her heart, and she reached her hand to receive Christ! Experienced the joy of someone’s salvation! I did not start sharing to her and asking her for response during the alter call actually. I felt the peace to just continue worshipping God and praying. Was gladly surprised when I saw her raise her hands immediately after Pastor Jeff asked for response. Wow, a soul saved, and our caregroup is growing! Was personally ministered through the service too as I drew closer in my relationship with God. Thank God for His faithfulness and grace!
Back to the meaning of Christmas, yeah indeed God has given me the greatest Gift 2005 years ago. The Gift of reconciliation, a personal relationship with God. It’s the best Gift I can ever have and I pray that I may never lose it.
Christmas marks the coming of an end to year 2005 too. Time to evaluate the year that is going to past, and plan for the new year to come. New year, new hope. Putting down the past, and straining towards what is ahead. I’m looking forward to a new year with new growth in my walk with God. I guess many things will take a turn next year… stepping into a new station in life. Ministry, working life etc… I’m feeling less fearful now, eagerly anticipating God leading me. =)
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| Joy and Peace |
[15 Nov 2005|04:38pm] |
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Whee~! Just had praise and worship in the midst of our studying. There were quite a number of brothers and sisters here, occupying 2 adjacent rooms in E1A. It was a short but spirit-led time, I was ministered by the Spirit through the praying and singing. Was glad to have 2 friends in our midst as well. Asked Xueli how she felt, and she said it was quite a new experience (as this is her first time). She didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. Yeah! I hope God has touched her heart somehow. I enjoy today; a good time of fellowship, enjoying the presence of God, and studying in the quiet and conducive classrooms. My heart is filled with joy and peace. Thank God for this experience. =) Hope all my brothers and sisters will experience this joy and peace that comes from aligning our focus on God in our studies. For me, the prayer meet, the fasting and praying, feeding on God’s Word help me to draw closer to God in my relationship with Him. It is not about doing these things, but having a right heart attitude for them. I look forward to more testimonies of how God works in my life at the end of this exam period and 40-day prayer and fasting. =)
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| Truthful thought |
[18 Oct 2005|02:15am] |
Reflecting over an incident that triggers many others. I will remain in distress if I don’t let the Word speak to me. He holds the truth and only His truth shall set me free (John 8:32). The truth is this: “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” – 1 Peter 4:17. Isn’t God’s Word plain and clear, yet so sharp? I’ve sinned. No excuse to dilute the sin, no grey area about it but His Word judges every thought and attitude of man (Heb 4:12). What can be better than humble myself before it and repent (2 Cor 7:10-11)? Now, then, that Christ has paid the price (Eph 2:4-9), I shall move on. His grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:9). There is hope and future ahead (Eph 2:10).
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John 8:32 – “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Heb 4:12 – “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
2 Cor 7:10-11 – “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.”
Eph 2:4-9 – “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”
2 Cor 12:9 – “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”
Eph 2:10 – “For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
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Ultimately, I don’t want to break the heart of the God whom I claim to love.
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| Perfect love drives out fear |
[16 Oct 2005|11:45pm] |
Everytime I pray
I move the hands of God;
My prayer does the thing
My hands cannot do.
Everytime I pray
Mountains are removed;
My paths are made straight
And the nations turn to You
Guan Zhen sang and taught me this song on Friday to encourage me, after praying for me. I’m thankful for her love and concern; and she did what was most right - pointing me to God. Very touched by this friendship. Thanks Guan!
Life is not as easy as it seems now. The worst trap of serving is this: Ministry replacing relationship with God. Just because I’m serving does not mean I’m ok. I must be careful.
This is a timely reminder to take a stock-check of my life, doing some serious reflection. “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. …be filled with the Spirit.” – Ephesians 5:15-18.
This tough period is the hour of evil, but God’s truth remains for us to hold on to. “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” “ – John 8:31-32.
And this is God’s truth: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” – 1 John 4:18.
“… perfect love drives out fear…” Amen. So let me remain in God’s love, and remember that in my heart, even if it means God chooses to be silent. Still trying to understand the rest of 1 John 4:18 though…
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| Firefly |
[26 Sep 2005|12:40pm] |
萤火虫
作词：伊能静 作曲：陈大力/陈秀男
萤火虫 萤火虫 慢慢飞
夏夜里 夏夜里 风轻吹
怕黑的孩子安心睡吧
让萤火虫给你一点光
燃烧小小的身影在夜晚
为夜路的旅人照亮方向
短暂的生命 努力的发光
让黑暗的世界 充满希望
萤火虫 萤火虫 慢慢飞
我的心 我的心 还在追
城市的灯光明灭闪耀
还有谁会记得你燃烧光亮
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| Fruitful week |
[27 Aug 2005|04:23am] |
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[Diary 26-08-2005, Friday]
The week has finally come to an end. I’m glad to take this little break to rest. As I look back at the past one week, I can say I’ve not wasted my time. New challenges, new opportunities to grow.
Monday morning was memorable, went Yum Cha with Weizhu and Robert for breakfast buffet at Chinatown. Wow the food and atmosphere were great, but the best of all was the fellowship. (Ooh and just a side point. I really think my mum would like the place and food. She loves dim sum. I shall bring her there one day, ooh yeah!) And yes, I hardly had such a fulfilling breakfast, haha. Guess it cheered me up as well, from the blues spilled over from the previous night. Thanks for the company, buddies! =)
Decided to settle at Esplanade to think about my life so I could plan for my life, had been dreadfully procrastinating it already. So glad I disciplined myself to set aside the time to think about it. Spent a long time doing my SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis, was fruitful though not easy. Glad to put studies and ministry aside, just allowing some time for myself. A good retreat from the hustle and bustle of NUS life, preparing and getting ready for the race ahead. =)
Indeed, it’s important to think and plan for my life. Thank God for instilling in me the conviction to plan, through Junting’s teaching and rebuke, and hence experiencing the joy of having a direction. Also, there have been some things on my mind for the past months – What do I want to do for God for the remaining 9 months I have left in the NUS ministry? 9 months!!! Can’t believe time passes so fast! What do I want to see myself having breakthroughs and growth in? Where will I go after I graduate? Come to think of it, really lots of things to think about, but I’m excited about them. =)
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." ~Proverbs 16:9
Wow, the moment I went back to school on Tuesday, was faced with many things to do. Tutorials officially started, and 3 out of 5 tutorials are weekly, so means I’ll have more preparation to do each week. Thankfully the first tutorials were still manageable, though quite a considerable amount of work to catch up from the lectures. Ministry was shiong during the week, basically Tuesday to Friday were fully packed, faced new challenges, learned new things. Thank God for stretching me. =)
Wednesday was ECG with Hongtao. I was supposed to lead praise and worship, as well as lead the discussion time. Didn’t have much time to prepare actually, even on the day itself I was still doing the preparation. The discussion was the scariest part. Squeezing out an hour or so here and there to think about the questions, prepare materials etc was stressful. While discussing with Shirley, my thoughts were still disorganized. I felt like telling Shirley, “Shirley, I really think I can’t lead the discussion, can you do it instead.” On a second thought, I was reminded of Jabez’s prayer. Now that God placed me a chance to try new things, I would never learn to lead ECG discussion if I choose to run away from the challenge. Talk about God “enlarging my territory”, I must be willing to be used by God and take up the challenge by faith in the first place, with His spirit and strength of course.
I don’t have a testimony to share here. It was not the usual i-thought-i-couldn’t-do-it-but-later-i-could testimony. I felt I screwed up the discussion; thankfully Shirley was there to help me along and supported me for most part of it. At the end of the day, it was a learning experience for me. Sometimes we make boo-boos in our lives, and we learn things the hard way eh? Guess this is one of such times for me bah. At least I could see how Shirley did it, and learn from her. It also struck me hard that I gotta quickly brush up on my knowledge and skills. Thank God for His grace and that things ended fine with the dinner at Clementi S11.
Went home and had to prepare for Thurs’ SCG, couldn’t do much and fell asleep. Thursday was another long and packed day that started at 9am. I was supposed to play guitar for CG praise and worship and share Prayer of Jabez teaching. Gosh, I haven’t touched my guitar for a long time. Squeezed out pockets of time here and there to practice the songs especially those horrible bar chords, and prepared for the teaching. Thankfully the teaching was something still quite fresh and was one that impacted me recently, so I just needed to summarize and customize for the members. Thankfully Gerard and Weizhu were there to help me out with the guitar practice as well.
SCG went well. Winnie prepared the praise well, except that I still couldn’t hit the B and F chords, need more practice. Must master it one day! Worship went smoothly, phew. Game was very fun, Jitsy koped great ideas from Youth CG last time, haha. And yeah, thank God for the chance to share what I’ve learnt from reading the book, pass down the essence, the spirit, the knowledge to people. Hope they’ve brought back some learning points. Let’s all desire to see breakthroughs in our lives! =) Had a fruitful time of evaluation as well, got some improvement points for myself too. Yeah.
Before I realized, it was Friday. Arh, I dozed off without setting alarm, so only woke at 6.50am, could only catch the 7.15am bus, so was 15 min late for my 8am lecture. Hmm, next week try again!
Probably because I was very, very tired, felt the lecture was not as interesting. Managed to keep awake though, thank God. The lecture ended a bit early, so went HQ to catch a wink and grabbed breakfast from Dily’s. I slept so deeply that I had a dream, but broken when Changjie came. =P 10-12 noon was follow-up on Changjie. Wow I was amazed; I was wide awake when teaching her “Commitment to local church”. It went well. Preparation helped, and thank God for His spirit so strong that I felt the urge to pass down God’s spirit to Changjie. 12-2pm was shepherding with Jiexian. Ooh I didn’t feel tired also. Weird, because just now before lecture and after lecture I felt like concussing anytime. 2-3pm was EL tutorial. Oh the tutorial was fun! We had language play, and I was enjoying myself, hehe. 3-4pm was the only break I had, so spent some time praying for sustenance and God’s spirit leading for Jitsy’s shepherding later, after tying down what I prepared to share to her. Met Jitsy from 4-6pm, and thank God for the fruitful time too. Hope she captured the spirit and that God will convict her. *hint hint* Jit, remember your homework ya? If not I’ll come haunting you, haha.
Something interesting happened after that. Jitsy and I were at AS6 to pay for the 2 sets of chordbook that was sent for photocopying and binding. It cost $13.40 in total. We started to realize we didn’t seem to have enough dollar notes. Anyway, we tried to dig out all the money and shillings we could find in our wallets, not sparing 5-cent coins, and see how much we could pull together before making a trip to ATM machine which was a bit troublesome. Thank God, all the money added up to… exactly $13.40. Haha, was pleasantly surprised and we both laughed.
Headed for home to spend some family time at night. Sigh, mum was just about to go to grandpa’s house. Wanted to go with her and see how grandpa has been recently, but didn’t. Anyway, took a few hours nap and it was good rest. So glad the week was over. It was tiring, but fruitful. Hope the weekend would be a good break before marching on into the new week! =)
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| Mother's Day |
[08 May 2005|11:45pm] |
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Yay, it’s Mother’s Day again!!! Though my family doesn’t celebrate Mother’s Day, it’s still a good opportunity for me to express my love for Mum and let her know I appreciate her. This year is tough. Couldn’t think of what I could buy that would really please her, because she just ain’t the kind who would be touched by material stuff. Last year I bought her a bag, quite an expensive one because I really want to bless her, but she scolded me. :p Sigh, and this year’s Mother’s Day, I couldn’t think of what to get her, and had no time to buy also, and woke up very late today then rushed off for membership class and came back only at night, so couldn’t go out with her nor spend some good time with her. So, I shared my chocolates with her instead. She smiled, and I was glad. :)
Never mind, now that exams are over, I can spend more time with her. Everyday can be Mother’s Day. I missed her. The exam period had been very long and I missed her very, very much…
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| Heartwarming scene |
[04 May 2005|03:14pm] |
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Was traveling to school on bus 99 in the noon time when I saw two boys wearing uniform that says “Grace Orchard School”. I remember Grace Orchard School, it’s somewhere near my house, it moved here quite recently. I always wonder what it is, perhaps a kindergarten, likely a Christian one. But, the two boys look like primary students, and they look… different. From the way they behave, and the way they talk to each other, somehow I think Grace Orchard School is a ‘special’ school, a place for children who are not so fortunate. Looking at them, I felt a compassion for them, and I wish in the future to come, I can do something for people like them…
Guess what, these two kids surprised me, and surprised the passengers on board…
The Chinese boy, who looked fierce from appearance, saw an old lady board the bus and gave up his seat to her. He said in Hokkien, “Ah po, this seat for u.” He saw another empty seat and sat down, but soon after another old lady board the bus, and he did the same to her, giving up his seat. I then asked him to take my seat, but he replied in English, “Never mind lah, you sit. I go behind.” Wow, such a young age and he has such a kind heart, and he speaks Hokkien. I’m impressed.
The Malay boy was impressive also. He gave up his seat to a Chinese auntie. There was another seat and he sat, but soon after an old Malay lady boarded the bus and he stood up again. He held the Malay lady’s hand to the seat, then soon after there was an empty seat beside the old lady and he sat. He chatted with the old lady, very cheerful and friendly. After that, he saw someone fanning herself in the bus. The weather was hot and the bus was a bit stuffy. So, he adjusted the air-con above the Malay and Chinese ladies to turn towards them, so sensitive of him.
Everyone around were smiling at these two boys. It was really heartwarming to witness their acts of kindness. I wondered what the school did to them, how the teachers helped these children to capture the right values so well. I’m impressed.
Reconstructing the lives of people is amazing. It’s a noble work, and I’m proud of those who change people and those who were changed. :)
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| Trust God |
[16 Mar 2005|11:43pm] |
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TRUST HIS HEART
All things work for our good
Though sometimes we can’t see how they could
Troubles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what’s best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway goes dim
And you just can’t see Him
Remember He’s still on the throne
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don’t understand
When you don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand
Trust His heart
He sees the master plan
He holds the future in His hand
Don’t live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him
We see the present clearly
He sees the first and last
And like a tapestry
He’s weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him
He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what’s best for you
Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (NIV)
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.” (KJV)
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.” (The Message)
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.” (NLT)
“With all your heart you must trust the LORD and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow.” (CEV)
“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.” (Amplified Bible)
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Was worshipping the Lord this morning during quiet time, and was touched once again when God "spoke" to me.
I came to God with a troubled heart, so just seeking to be quietened in solitude which I must confess I haven't done so for some time already. I know the most logical way that God can speak to me is through His word, but that would require me to have read and known His Word well enough. I was not expecting some kind of little miracle like randomly flipping the Bible and hope that I'd see the right verse/passage for me, nor strongly sense a rema word/vision while praying in tongues. I planned to just faithfully continue reading from where I've ended off in the book of 1 Samuel. Yet, I felt like wanting to talk to God face-to-face, and hear His immediate reply audibly like what a confidante of physical form could do.
C'mon Huichun, God still desires us to spend a moment pouring out to Him... (irregardless of whether God would answer my questions instantly. It is God's presence that I should seek; it is about God, not about me and my own problems...)
So, I picked up a guitar, quickly tuned the strings, and just worshipped...
Starting singing "Awaken my heart" and "Turn your eyes upon Jesus", both my favourite. Stillll ok... but wasn't really satisfied yet. So went into free worship, when I really poured out before God, transparent before Him. He knows what I'm going through, but I still wanted to tell Him. So I did.
Then I stopped. I looked down and gazed at the songbook. There it was, a song called "Trust His Heart", on the same page as "Turn your eyes upon Jesus". Couldn't help but read the lyrics. (By the way, it was a completely unfamiliar song to me.)
Gosh, every line spoke to me... !!! *gasp*
Very amazed by how APT the lyrics was - each line hit on the nail. No joke. This time, God spoke to me through this song. I knew it was not something stirred by emotions because I had no idea what the tune was, so not possible that it was the atmosphere of the tune that made me feel good; neither was it just another "all-Christian-lyrics-are-supposed-to-be-encouraging" kinda thing, because I was wondering if God was really using this particular song to speak to me, and it really did because all other songs on the page (and adjacent page) were not really relevant to the problems I've shared to God. The plain words came alive because every line identified with all that I had told God just a while ago! *gasp again*
Yes, God confirmed that I must trust Him. Have been pondering over Proverbs 3:5-6 over and over again recently, making sense of it. The verse came back again. [Proverbs 3:5-6]: A very important verse that I always hold on to. My first encounter with the verse was during my water baptism day; it was prophesied and given to me by the Lord when my caregroup prayed for me.
Proverbs 3:5-6 is very significant for my life; what I'm going through now is just one of many trials that I will be and have been tested in this verse. So, I frantically went to check up different translations of this verse to gain better understanding about what this verse really means.
I'm amazed by God again. He's awesome and real...
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| Busy Busy Busy... |
[15 Mar 2005|01:08am] |
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An overview of my schedule for this one month or so shows that I have 8 more datelines to meet!!! Term paper + individual projects + tests --> 8 in total!!! Gosh, these 2-3 weeks will be especially stressful. Hmm, yet I'm excited about what is to come in terms of ministry - Easter outreach and matriculation plowing. Mixed feelings... Anyway, I wonder how I'll be going through this period of time, sigh. Hoping and praying and fasting and wishing that I'll survive from the trials victoriously. God, help help...!!! Don't leave me ya? May it be that You see me through the seasons, through it all! :)
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| About my day... |
[28 Feb 2005|08:06pm] |
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God, I’m sorry. I’ve forgotten about You the whole day…
Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sigh…
Bleh.
Frustration inside me, because of how much I’m lagging behind in my studies that I couldn’t even do a simple homework. Coupled with tiredness and many foundational concepts I’ve yet grasped in Research and Statistical Methods 2 made the already supposedly-complicated-and-mind-draining project discussion even more so. Had planned not to hand up the homework which was due 4pm today (though I finally did). No point copying someone else’s answers and get the 2.5% of module grade without learning anything. I wanted to just end the project discussion, let the tutor guide us in our thinking process on an alternative timing instead, while I catch up with the concepts that should weeks ago be more or less at my finger tips. Valerie, Christine and Huitong were busy discussing the homework, yet I had nothing to discuss about simply because I couldn’t even do the easiest questions. It would be too selfish of me to slow them down for my sake. So I’d rather do some self-study first. Valerie was nice enough to offer to teach me the homework. Felt that I wasn’t a very good testimony in my studies; I really wonder how Huitong thinks about my life. Most of the time she sees me going for church meetings after lessons, yet tired and ill-prepared for tutorials. Obviously I wasn’t managing my life well. Couldn’t hold the tears and broke down in front of them, argh! At this point Valerie reminded me of God, telling me that at least I have God, and He will be my strength. Amen. Yah precisely, why am I going through it alone? The truth is I have God; the truth is “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength!” – Philippians 4:13. For the entire 4 hours that we discussed project and homework, I completely forgot to ask God to do His powerful work in me. And that tear taught me I have my limited strength… I need God in everyday of my life, though the darkness and the light, through the high and the low, through the happiness and the sorrow, every single moment of my life.
The next thing that happened was the good news that Christine’s sister’s skirt was found in Zara’s fitting room. Previously Christine got a bad scolding from her sister last night for misplacing the skirt. When she called Zara and received the good news, Christine broke into tears of gratitude. Not because she need not have to return her sister $70 for the skirt, but because she prayed very hard to God and God answered her prayer. She even wanted to fast lunch just so that God would see her desperateness and help her find the skirt. Was very touched by Christine’s testimony, and she was also very openly sharing to Huitong about it during the project meeting. I’m sure this would bring Christine to a higher level of faith and love for God. It has not been easy for Christine, and she has been trying her best to show love, spend more time with her sister, take care of her sister etc. So touched to see the hands of God moving in the life of Christine, and the touch from God rubbed off to me as well. God is a good God.
Called Guan around 2pm plus to ask how he fared for his ‘O’ levels, really thank God for the prayers, he scored an L1R5 of 17, which means he gets a chance to go JC. Wow, that was a great blessing. Previously he scored 30 for prelims, so entering poly was even questionable. Told mum that I prayed for him, but mum poured wet blanket by saying she prayed to her gods as well. Whatever, at least I’m thankful I did not hesitate to praise God in front of mum, though was a bit fearful before telling her that. This is my first small step in sharing Christ to her. Yeah!
Rushed down to Engine to meet Jiexian for DMM at 4pm, felt better being with own spiritual family, no peer pressure. Reviewed and evaluated with me about how I steward my time each week. From the looks of it, discipline is a must. This is still the biggest resolution for me this year. Things can’t remain like this always; I must one day learn to manage my life effectively for the sake of God’s kingdom.
The day was not over yet. Attended a psychology talk from 6-7:30pm; left me with lots of serious thinking to do regarding further studies and future job prospects. Though it’s my wish that I can practice psychology one day, this field is academically rather demanding. Sigh… need more research for information. Like what Dr Donald Yeo said, the field of psychology is so broad (but exciting, interesting, meaningful), I need to think what I really want to do, how my skills and knowledge can contribute to the organization. The talk also mentioned about music therapy… which is music and psychology practiced together… aww, so interesting… *dream*
Back here at West HQ, didn’t fellowship with anyone except Jiexian. Busy busy busy, back to studying now…
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| Quiz |
[27 Feb 2005|12:55am] |
You Are 21 Years Old |
21
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
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Haha... exactly my physical age this year. 21. heh.
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| Every song tells a story… |
[26 Feb 2005|09:07am] |
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mood |
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peaceful |
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Isn’t that so true? Even a piece of music without lyrics, without words, yet it can communicate regardless of race. No wonder music is called the universal language. It’s amazing also because it tells a different story to the audience at different times. Just like this piece of music called “Spirited Away”, it was sad and longing for comfort yesterday but this very morning it sings of joy and hope despite how life is. The music just feels with how you feel (or actually feel). Other than God the Father, it never fails to melt my heart… one of my greatest companion and friend. =)
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| rehiz |
[14 Nov 2004|12:30am] |
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mood |
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indescribable |
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Though I had planned to use this blog to track my experiences in life, it’s nevertheless still a secondary commitment to maintain. Have been too busy to update, but not to worry because I’ve been journaling almost everyday, penning down my thoughts/ reflections/ experiences etc, even when it means I have to scribble in my little notebook. Shall not forget the ups and downs that I went through in this semester – in the area of my relationship with God, ministry, family and studies.
Growing up is indeed a difficult process, but Dear Jesus, thank You for being with me all the time! 成长虽煎熬， 但感谢上帝与我同在， 让我能和他同步奔跑！耶稣， 让你的爱与关怀也洒遍这世界吧！:)
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| Amazed by God!!! :D |
[06 Oct 2004|01:43am] |
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mood |
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 thankful |
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[Diary 05-10-04 Tuesday]
Gee… Got lotsa work to be done now but really want to pen this down since I’m right in front of my laptop.
Good news! Ellson’s mother received Christ!!! Praise the Lord!!! Wow…
Wow I’m so amazed by God… He just has His wonderful plan. Went to visit Ellson in NUH in the evening just now, because his mum has liver infection, so some of us went to encourage and show concern to Ellson. Heard that he was very down yesterday about his mum’s condition, and that he hasn’t been urgent enough to share the good news to his mum.
Saw Ellson’s mum and she looked very, very weak. Felt a pinch 辛酸 in my heart to see people suffering. But today I have a glimpse of God’s wonderful plan. If not for the sickness, all these good things wouldn’t have happened… Everyone hopes for the best for his mum, but at least, and the most wonderful thing of all is that, his mum is saved!
Oh my, God is so, so, so good!!! Ahh… so amazed! :D Also very encouraged that Ellson stayed strong in the Lord despite the circumstances instead of blaming God for this incident, and even picking up courage to share Christ to his mum. Oh, and God’s plan was fulfilled through this. One more soul in God’s kingdom. Wow! Can’t help but to give thanks to God…
Yeah… what about my very own physical parents and blood-brothers? Time to plan and do something, huichun! Need to grow in being more faithful if I want them to be saved too… :p
Praise be unto the Lord! :)
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| Brand new day |
[04 Oct 2004|09:12am] |
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mood |
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refreshed |
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It’s the start of a new week again. Well, woke up with a mixed feeling initially. I’m expecting a very, very busy week ahead, with 2 major things in my head - test on Tuesday and I’m not even halfway done with the revision; individual assignment due Saturday which is not an easy one yet I’ve not even started researching. Oh well, I shan’t stress myself with the workload. But come to think of if, I’ve 6 hours of lessons less for this week, and that leaves me with no tutorial to prepare for this week at all, except for Science of Music. Wow, thank God! Heehee… yeah!
I’m feeling peaceful now. I know it’s a peace that comes from God. Thinking about God now, and it just warms my heart knowing I have a friend in Jesus. Why? 因为耶稣很完美…!!! :) :) :) And this perfect friend is always there for me. This week, this day, is a good opportunity to rely on Him, and draw closer to Him. Want to go through this week with Jesus’ touch everyday… :)
Yeah! It’s a brand new day in the Lord! :D
Gonna start this day well by spending some quality time with Jesus. Till next post then…:)
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| Morning! - part 2 |
[26 Sep 2004|09:04pm] |
This is a follow-up on my previous entry. Well, got a twist to this morning's scenario. Just a short while after blogging, I fell asleep and overslept! Haiz, *konk my head*. Diaoz. Felt so silly, I thought still a bit early so went to sleep a while more, then woke up late and still had to rush some things to be printed, so ended up taking cab with weizhu to go for unit meeting. (Cab? Not again?!)
Thank God the day went well, all the meetings still quite fruitful. Oh my! I just remember something, I have some calls to make. Goodness, I better finish this entry fast haha. From the looks of it, gonna have a very, very busy week ahead! Tests/ministry/projects… hmm. But anyway, I’m hoping that through this period of time, I can grow in one way or another, relying on God more for strengthening, for wisdom to do things more efficiently. Hope that at the end of the week, I can truly say I’ve learnt something and grown in my spiritual and personal life. Yup. God, mould me bah! :)
I better go bathe now… Shoo! Off I go! :p
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| Morning! |
[26 Sep 2004|07:19am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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Wow I’m up! (6am! :D) Think I slept at around 1am last night. Dozed off, to be precise. But feeling very refreshed now. I’m enjoying this cool and peaceful morning. Feel like studying but can’t turn on the lights, so shall just wait a while longer for the sun to rise up.
How I wish I can wake up this early every morning. Think it’s good. Fresh morning air, comfy temperature also. Feels good to be the first to wake up too, heehee. Argh, still have problems that I haven’t think through, but I’ve just decided to put them aside for the time being, give myself a good mental break to enjoy this morning. The peace and tranquility of nature is not to be missed man! Heh.
Gee… waking up so early, I wonder how late my energy can last. Hmm, gonna have a long day ahead! Unit meeting before service, then service, then 3 meetings right after service – meet Qiaoping to discuss sowing; meet Jia Dai and Barnabas to discuss games for mid-Autumn celebration event; meet Uni forum team. (Oh my God! I just realized I forgot to make card! Supposed to bring it to service later! Oops, blur me! :p) Still have a long way in preparing for my Tuesday test, oh my goodness. Shall go home study after all the meetings, hopefully we don’t drag till too late.
Here I’m speaking to all the work awaiting my attention, “Nah, get off my back for now!“ Heehee, because I want to spend this beautiful morning with Jesus in QT.
Well, till next post then… :)
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| Reflection [18-09-04 Saturday]: Student life |
[19 Sep 2004|02:46am] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
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Life is short. Time does fly. There’re so many things I want to do/learn, think I’m getting too ambitious. Time to learn to prioritize, accepting the fact that I’m not like Jesus, who’s never in a rush, because there’s a time for everything.
I remember myself feeling really excited to start a new semester. Even as I recall now, I’m quite amazed how Jesus’ impact in my life changed my attitude towards the things that I’m doing now, particularly in the area of studies. Not that I’m very confident of my modules this semester (because I’m never confident in my studies, sad to say.) Striving for the result is important, no doubt. But what I’m looking forward to is studying, I mean generally and literally learning. Learning is interesting, though sometimes the pile of work may bog me down, and I’ll keep reminding myself not to let the stress and tiredness spoil my appetite to study.
Yay, student life is fun! Not for the only reason of learning, but the best motivation comes knowing that I have a great purpose! We’re Christians, who just happen to be students. So, we’re called to be students in the world, but not of the world, yet impacting the world, right here in our campus! To be sheep among wolves! To bring the gospel to people through sharing our lives with our peers in school! Ooh, real exciting, hard to live up as true-blue Christians isn’t it? But not the reason to back-out in this great mission that’s accompanied with eternal value.
Another reason why I love school is because of the regimental lifestyle. Ever since school started, my biological clock has been adjusted. Hah, no longer the nocturnal Huichun. School can be tiring, seldom manage to stay awake past 2am. Recently stayed overnight at PGP once to finish up group project, and it felt like hell to me, very very hard to keep awake. Sorta becoming a habit for me to sleep at around 1 plus am and waking up (sometimes automatically) at 8am feeling really refreshed! Tonight will be an exception, because I had the luxury of taking 5 hours of afternoon nap just now, so I’m still wide awake… heehee. :p Anyway, there’s something good about this kinda lifestyle. Can be 辛苦 at times, and how I wish for more time to sleep, but it’s precisely because of our weaknesses that we need to rely on God more to help us overcome that inconvenience and difficulties. The more I learn to pray to God for His sustenance every single day, especially when I know I’ll have a long and draining day ahead. It’s good discipline for the phlegmatic me also, as I see it. Life is busy week after week. Forced me to plan weekly, in greater detail. It’s a gradual change I see in myself, learning to be accountable to God for the time that I spend. There can be much more improvements, definitely. Every time I plan in detail, I see even more clearly how little time I have, yet so many things to do. Yes God, at least it trains me to be a bit more choleric haha. I need to grow in this area. ;)
I’m still learning, learning to be more efficient. Ministry + studies, enough to keep me very occupied. Gee, must be meaningfully occupied of course, not do for the sake of doing.
6 academic weeks have passed. Wow, half a semester gone already, that’s very fast! Have been a stressful period of time, I must admit. Many times outwardly I struggle to cope with time management, with the “doing” part, inwardly also struggle a lot to think about real issues in many aspects of my life, making sense of my experiences etc. I don’t ask of God to pull me out of the problems, but that He will change my response and give me courage to face every single one of them. Whenever I’m stressed, I’ll remind myself that all the things happening are not by chance. I remember some time ago, I prayed to Him to put me through trying moments, so that while walking on the edge, I may learn to rely on Him, and draw myself nearer to Him. In a way, I want to grow closer in my walk with God, and it’s hard to do so being in comfort zone. Of course, it wasn’t a hasty decision to make that prayer. I know what I’m in for, but I want to go through it with the Word, with the truth, with Jesus. Paul was an inspiring example in the bible. This is what he said:
“… there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
I’m still trying and learning, hopefully can see God’s wonderful hand working in me. My life isn’t a bed of thorns lah, there’re definitely good times that I can rejoice and give thanks for. :)
God is great. Praise be unto the Lord! :)
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